Monthly Archives: January 2016

toddlers are a test for the sanest of people

gone are the days of lazily rolling around with my baby, snuggling, nursing, sleeping.  these were tender moments during an incredible time of bonding with my little bundle of joy.  then… SMACK! my once sweet and demure infant goes from cooing … Continue reading

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#ItAffectsMe

yes, I have a blog.  but that doesn’t mean that I am public about my diagnosis.  my parents and fiancé know that I am bipolar.  I’ve told some of my close friends, and that’s it.  no one at work or … Continue reading

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limbo…

I often get the feeling like I’m in limbo.  Almost a floating sensation.  I’m in between things – moods, places, experiences.  I never really feel present.  Somehow I’m someplace else.  Not quite myself but never someone else. This in-between state … Continue reading

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The diagnosis…dant dant da!!!

I went on for months feeling depressed and out of control all at the same time.  Add some anxiety and a little alcohol self-medicating and you got yourself a crazy cocktail. But I digress.   I know I need to talk … Continue reading

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Now that I know I’m really crazy, what do I do?

So apparently I’ve been crazy as far back as I can remember.  Great! Having a kid, who likely will be plagued by having a mentally ill mother, is how I find out I have a room reserved in the nut … Continue reading

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Is this postpartum depression?

I know lots of women get the baby blues.  Me, on the other hand, has suffered from depression most of my adult life.  I was scared shitless of postpartum depression and asked my OB for Zoloft in the hospital right … Continue reading

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Why are you crying now?

As I look at my baby girl I can’t believe she is mine. She is the most perfect little being I’ve ever seen. Then I think, I hope I don’t fuck her up…how is she going to be ok with … Continue reading

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