Author Archives: knikoloudakis
the manic mom and work
i am a bit of an overachiever. i’ve always performed at a high level in school and at work. i went to high school and college on academic scholarships, juggling sports, theater, music and other activities. this was no different … Continue reading
Posted in bipolar
Tagged anxious, bipolar, depression, identity, manic, seizures, work
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sMOTHER…
I am by no means the perfect mom. Even though I am mentally ill I still think I’m a pretty good mom. My mental illness doesn’t seem to get in the way of day to day taking care of B and loving her to … Continue reading
Posted in new mom, toddler tales
Tagged 2 ft terrorist, anxious, bipolar, helicopter moms, mom, new momma, other parents
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racing thoughts…
i’m trying to figure out what a manic episode is for me. it seems to change every time my medication is adjusted. i was put on lithium a couple of months back and definitely feel the difference. but i’ve been up all night … Continue reading
i can’t say no…
sometimes i feel like i do everything for the people around me. my family, my friends, work, where i volunteer. i get asked to run this errand, pick this up at the store for me, put this away, write this … Continue reading
Posted in bipolar, taking care of older parents
Tagged anxious, bipolar, demanding, emotionally erupt, expectations, guilt, mom, no, sharp tongue
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toddler shenanigans
no one said that life with a toddler was going to be easy. B is now 22 months old. not a baby, but not yet a big girl. she goes to school everyday when i go to work. after 3 months … Continue reading
Posted in bipolar, new mom, toddler tales
Tagged 2 ft terrorist, anxious, bipolar, mom, new momma, temper tantrum, toys everywhere
3 Comments
i’m late…
i just came from the doctor. i was hopeful when i called this morning. i was anxious. i was nervous. i was confused. i’m late. i don’t mean late in the “i’m gonna be 20 minutes late for work because … Continue reading
Posted in bipolar
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which came first?
i’ve been unpacking a lot of the perverbial emotional baggage doing this blog. sitting and writing and reflecting on life has been really good. i’m proud of myself for sticking with the blogging process. i tend to get into a new … Continue reading
Posted in bipolar
Tagged abuse, bipolar, conversion disorder, depression, divorce, domestic violence, ex-husband, manic, rape, seizures
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potty training
everything is in a constant state of change when being a mother. from infant to toddler. sitting to standing. breast feeding to solid foods. and now I embark on a huge journey with little miss B – potty training! … Continue reading
Posted in bipolar, new mom, toddler tales
Tagged 2 ft terrorist, 21 month old, anxious, baby girl, chunky dog, clean house, mom, new momma, potty training
2 Comments
I fucking hate Facebook
i was doing a little cyber stalking last night on Facebook and just got the strangest feeling come over me. i hate the way that looking at other people’s profiles makes me feel sometimes. i find myself constantly comparing their lives to … Continue reading
Posted in bipolar
Tagged authenticity, facebook, facebook is the devil, green with envy, i hate facebook, jealousy, want to be my authentic self
3 Comments
toddlers are a test for the sanest of people
gone are the days of lazily rolling around with my baby, snuggling, nursing, sleeping. these were tender moments during an incredible time of bonding with my little bundle of joy. then… SMACK! my once sweet and demure infant goes from cooing … Continue reading
Posted in new mom, toddler tales
Tagged 2 ft terrorist, chunky dog, clean house, mom, new momma, toys everywhere
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manic momday 