Author Archives: knikoloudakis
yes, I have a blog. but that doesn’t mean that I am public about my diagnosis. my parents and fiancé know that I am bipolar. I’ve told some of my close friends, and that’s it. no one at work or … Continue reading
I often get the feeling like I’m in limbo. Almost a floating sensation. I’m in between things – moods, places, experiences. I never really feel present. Somehow I’m someplace else. Not quite myself but never someone else. This in-between state … Continue reading
The diagnosis…dant dant da!!!
I went on for months feeling depressed and out of control all at the same time. Add some anxiety and a little alcohol self-medicating and you got yourself a crazy cocktail. But I digress. I know I need to talk … Continue reading
Now that I know I’m really crazy, what do I do?
So apparently I’ve been crazy as far back as I can remember. Great! Having a kid, who likely will be plagued by having a mentally ill mother, is how I find out I have a room reserved in the nut … Continue reading
Is this postpartum depression?
I know lots of women get the baby blues. Me, on the other hand, has suffered from depression most of my adult life. I was scared shitless of postpartum depression and asked my OB for Zoloft in the hospital right … Continue reading
Why are you crying now?
As I look at my baby girl I can’t believe she is mine. She is the most perfect little being I’ve ever seen. Then I think, I hope I don’t fuck her up…how is she going to be ok with … Continue reading
Was giving birth really this easy?
I knew from the day I found out I was pregnant my daughter was going to be a stubborn as I am. 40 weeks pregnant and no baby. I begged my doctor to induce me. I loved being pregnant but … Continue reading
Feeling great pregnant…
Swollen, check… Back pain, check… Tired, cranky and feeling like a blimp, check… Yes, I was a normal pregnant woman. I had all of the cravings, eating too much, needing sleep, and general uncomfortableness. Otherwise being pregnant was the best … Continue reading
The day I found out I was pregnant…
When I decided to leave my ex husband I knew I wanted a child. I researched clinics for artificial insemination and speak donors. I knew I had a small window of time to get pregnant. I knew I could always … Continue reading
As good a place to start as any…
My daughter turned 1 last week. She is the greatest gift and hugest joy that I could have ever imagined. I never thought I’d be so lucky as to finally be a mother, let alone to such a wonderful, sweet … Continue reading